Does the thought of networking, or talking to a room full of strangers, make you anxious? Or perhaps it does just the opposite, you can't wait to get out there and talk to people. As a business owner, you probably know that networking is an essential part of your life. Quite simply you must network to get work.

However, what you may not know is how to network effectively. It's more than the simple exchange of business cards, or trying to drum up business by talking to others in your industry.

"If you don't network you're constantly in the face of people who already know you," explains Donna Messer, a networking expert and trainer. "Those who know you start to take you for granted and they stop recognizing that there are certain needs that you have."

It is easy to get networking confused with selling, after all you're attending an event or meeting someone as a representative of your business. Yet in Messer's view this isn't the point of networking at all.

"It isn't about buying or selling, it's about common interests, our comfort in providing referrals, our sharing of resources, and the opportunity to connect in the future."

So when you meet people and move through the cycle that Messer has identified you should be concentrating on how you can help them with something, rather than what you can sell them. Once you have established yourself as someone who is willing to provide solutions without openly selling your products or services, this person is more likely to return the favour and pass referrals back to you.

Colour Theory

Messer has come to recognize that networking exists in a cycle that is repeated over and over for each new contact. This cycle can then be looked at through a colour palette where each colour represents a certain stage in the networking cycle.

"The colour theories have been developed by experts over the years, and what I've done is adapt their work to reflect the art of networking."

Orange

The first stage, which Messer identifies as orange, is rapport. Here you are building the relationship to discover what common interests you have with another person. It could be a common job, education, or hobby.

In this stage you are building what Messer calls your Social Capital. This is a concept that looks at you as a person, and allows people you're networking with to identify with you through your interests, family life, or other issues.

"It's an opportunity for people to say that person is like me. People like people who are like themselves, they buy from them, and they refer them."

Once you have identified your common denominator you shouldn't spend more than 10 minutes with a person because you run the risk of becoming redundant. Messer recommends spending some time after the event or in between meetings to write all the information you learned from this person.

Red

The second stage is information gathering. This information is a collection of facts and anecdotes you find both on your own and in conversation with each other. You can then use this information to act as a link between people who have a need.

"You've got to find out about these people. That means going to search engines and doing your homework. You provide solutions for them, those results they wanted when they went to that networking session that you went to."

It is also a good idea to know what information you want to give to others. This can also be a good icebreaker if you're anxious about meeting new people. Messer recommends anything where you have been profiled, especially if this was in a respected publication, is a good idea because then you aren't talking about yourself, and someone else did it for you.

Green

The final stage is how you can help each other. Once you've introduced yourself, found your information, this information should be used for the benefit of both sides.

Before you move on from each other decide what your next course of action will be. Ask them if you can call or email them in the near future to discuss something further. Their response will let you know how successful you've been says Messer.

"If they say just send me an e-mail, they probably get lots of e-mail, so ask them what you can put in the subject line so that they know it's one that they don't want to delete. That's a secret, but that works. If the person wants you to send a fax, they are basically pulling the plug because people don't really like to receive faxes anymore. So if you get this ask if it's going to be dedicated or do you have to phone first."

Getting the most out of your network

Once you have identified the networking stages and know how to use them effectively you can begin to identify which groups work best for you. Messer says that some of the most common mistakes she sees are events where people are placed in a room and expected to know how to network, or that employees attend events together and never venture outside their circle.

Whether you attend an ongoing networking group through your local Chamber of Commerce, or you participate in a one-time industry event make sure that you know what you want to get out of that event. Establishing a connection with others in your industry can be a good place to start, but don't settle in, Messer points out if you are all the same then you could have trouble helping each other and expanding your network.